Curly

Five years ago today, my grandpa Curly lost his battle with cancer.

It's kind of odd that we are going through this series at church on bucket lists around the same time of his passing. Last weekend's service was on living in the moment.

I think that people go through all kinds of circumstances that makes them rethink their priorities....ours happened to be our finances and then now with Jim working such crazy hours we have really fine tuned what really matters in our lives.

Last night I couldn't sleep....there I was laying there reflecting on my grandpa's life and what he stood for. I remember going to visit him every time I went in to work the last few weeks before he died. I kept waiting for this big emotional moment that we hear happens as people near the end....it never happened. For quite sometime, I wondered in disappointment why. My grandpa was not a fluffy warm fuzzy man, so it shouldn't surprise me I guess.....but as I lay there last night I realized that he lived his life telling us that he loved us!

He was a soldier, but he never really spoke of his journey. He was a deputy sheriff and did give us some glimpses ( he took John Wayne Gaisey back and forth to jail during his trial, his motto was that "if a woman in labor can make it to the squad, she can make it to the hospital"). But more then that he was a great grandpa! We went fishing from before I could remember (betting us that he could catch 2 fish before we caught 1.....he had a rod with 2 hooks on it....he always won that bet!) My grandparents picked us up from school, being sick was always better when we got to go to there house, and I can't ever remember a function that they missed whether it was a basketball game, concert or award thing...they were always there.

Grandpa also let me do a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have: like mowing his lawn on a riding lawn mower...."Do you know how to drive it?"..."Sure!"....thing was that I didn't know how to stop!....drove it right into the back of the barn!!!! I about lost grandma out the back of the boat when he let me drive for the first time....I always saw him driving when we were skiing, so I just punched it...hehehehe!

He also took us to South Dakota, Crystal and I played Nintendo throughout the whole trip....I would have kicked us out and made us walk, but he didn't~ without that trip, I wouldn't know what a Corn Palace was or a South Dakota Turd Bird! Him and grandma drove my bridesmaids and I to the church. And he made countless trips to the lake so my sister and I could swim!

For those of you who struggle with the absence of words of affection from those who have passed or those who are right there in front of your face, look at their lives more then the lack of words....I'm sure you'll find love laced all through out!

Please go to my songs list and play Mairzy Doats in honor of Curly! He sang this song around the house and I just thought it was grandpa being crazy!

"Power" Shooting

Just something that made me smile! This is Corey's interpretation of the boys "power" shooting...caught them trying to do it off the stairs with a sheet.....definitely a better idea on paper then in real life!

How's Your Dash?

This last weekend at church we started a new series on Bucket Lists. This weekend it was on how we have two main dates in our lives, birth and death, and then the rest is just a dash (like on a tombstone).

When all is said and done, what's your dash going to look like?

What are the important things that we want to have accomplished?

What are things that you thought were important that now you realize didn't matter?

One thing that I thought was very interesting was that Keith mentioned how "freeing" it is to learn you only have a certain amount of time left....gone are the excuses of "I'll do it tomorrow" and "once I hit this milestone, then things will be better". Relationships, past and present, start to matter more.

I've been struggling lately with being at home what feels like 24/7. I love the boys, but some days I wonder if I was crazy wanting kids! I know that this is mostly Feb. blahs....things will feel so much better when we all can get outside, Jim's schooling is almost done and hopefully life can get into some form of normalcy. As I'm mulling these things over in my head, I've come to the realization that I spend a lot of time looking toward the future...once the boys are older, once Jim is done with school, once Jim gets that job he's wishing for...then, my life can start again. Does life stop once you have kids? Do you somehow become less of a person once "mommy" becomes your title?

Life doesn't stop! I need to spend more time living today, then dreaming about things in the future that I have no control over now! I need to look at the gift I've been given today: my boys, my husband, my friends and family. Life is too short to be stuck in the what ifs....I'm going to try and work harder to be focused and appreciate today!

I give you my Heart!

I knit this heart for Jim. He's working today so I tucked it and a card into his overnight bag! He was surprised and a little confused, but I think he liked it.

This week has been filled with baking. Monday we made molasses cookies. Jamie is studying the Revolutionary War. When talking about the sugar tax, I realized that J had no idea what molasses was...only one thing to do about that! Tuesday I test baked Strawberry Cupcakes to see if they would make a good birthday cake for my Grandma. Then on Friday, I made Thin Mints and

Samoas Bars.....today was my home stretch, baking Grandma's cake (started it at 7:30 am and was finished decorating it by 11:30....birthday party started at noon so we had to hustle).

I also squeezed in some knitting, embroidering, and crocheting: knit heart for Jim with embroidered coronary arteries and some crochet dish clothes and scrubbies for Grandma.

Tomorrow the boys will be staying at Jim's parents....so that we can get some much needed rest! Can't wait! We aren't planning on doing anything spectacular, just getting a movie and hopefully making a nice meal with a good wine!

Hope you have a fantastic Valentine's Day with your Love!