the title should say something like Warning Construction in MY Head!
so many words. so many thoughts. so many feelings and stresses and junk. all trying to make their way down my neurons to my fingers. it's like 20 lanes of traffic merging into 1 lane.
maybe it's not my time yet to write out our story...it for sure doesn't have an ending yet and the plot keeps twisting and turning. still the same destination, just not the way I expected it....ever....and it keeps on going.
Paul's journey to Rome keeps coming to mind. he knew that God wanted him to go and preach in Rome, but it wasn't like he just hopped on an airplane and went.....there were all of these twists and curves and God used them to share the gospel to so many people who wouldn't have been touched with out that direction of the journey. it wasn't all cake and tea either....beatings...prison...shipwrecks...snake bites...but all for God's glory.
do you think he ever looked upward and asked "What the Heck?!?"
in May I never would have dreamed that I'd be sitting here typing on this couch, in this house...never...
and yet here I am.
four weeks ago, I thought for sure my silent time would reveal this huge master plan...instead i got Trust Me..Wait on Me...
so again, here I am.
I am learning first hand James 4:
"Today—at the latest, tomorrow—we're off to such and such a city for the year. We're going to start a business and make a lot of money." You don't know the first thing about tomorrow. You're nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, "If the Master wills it and we're still alive, we'll do this or that."
I've stopped planning. His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than ours.
we're not in it for the money, we're going because we have been called.
I've stopped worrying about this or that, times and dates mean nothing as long as I'm looking forward and looking upward.
at first little blessings started happening, things just fell into place.
we found a trailer that was under the cost we were looking for (amazing considering everything we saw before that for weeks had been double to triple the price).
Corey got a clean bill of health after his surgery (and thank you Lord that we had insurance..oy vey that was a big bill!)
then, Jim's business that had all but dried up over the past few years started getting calls....first one, then two, then more...lots more...and the phone is still ringing...talk about opening the flood gates of heaven. unexpected income that will give us security in our eventual new start.
so, people inevitably always ask...When are you leaving?
I don't know, we'll know when it's right.
months ago we had prayed that God would use Jim's hands like the widow who Elisha told to gather as many jars as she could to fill with oil. as long as the jobs keep coming, we'll do them.
it's funny because we aren't relying on our own strength or our own talents. God is the one providing this overflow. and when it's his time, it will all fall into place....and I'm good with that.
people like plans, they like dates and security...especially grandmas lol...
sometimes it feels like our reliance on God and lack of plans kind of freaks people out. I have always been the free spirit. Jim on the other hand is a play it by the book, find the depth of the lake before you jump in off the cliff kind of guy. for him to be at peace without everything but the next step figured out is huge..HUGE. and it's right.
for now we're preparing (waiting in expectation)...when God waves the green flag, it's on!
so, it is what it is. eventually there'll be more.
consider this the back cover preview of our story ;)