Saturday, October 25, 2008

Putting Out Fires

Wow...this is a record for my little blog..3 posts in as many days :) ....should get me through for a while..hahahaha!

Last night the boys stayed the night with their incredibly over indulgent Aunt and Uncle, so Jim and I had yet another date night! YIPEE! This is a luxury that I am really enjoying! We went and saw the movie Fire Proof. It had a certain draw with Jim being in the profession that he is, so it didn't take much coercing to get him to go to a "chick flick".

All in all, I'd say that we have a pretty strong relationship....don't get me wrong, we have our days just like everyone else. The big difference is that we make a point to communicate, we don't let things stew too long and (plug your ears, close your eyes..whatever you need to do) we don't let our problems effect our..umm..sheet music (if you know what I mean!). Recently we've had quite a few friends who have been experiencing marital problems, some resulting in divorce, some just miserable. What is the main common denominator? They let life get in the way. Before you know it, you're in separate bedrooms, barely talking...just coexisting. How can people who at some point had to have been madly in love with each other become strangers? It's pretty easy..selfishness moves in and you stop trying to woo the other person. Soon it's: "He always drops his clothes on the floor right in front of the hamper!" or "She always has a headache." the list can go on and on. The book Love and Respect teaches on this principle of a "crazy cycle", where everything mounts up and you start spinning out of control.

The trick is how to stop this out of control spinning ball of emotions before it's too late. The movie had a book to go along with it called "The Love Dare". Basically, it's 40 days of focusing on your spouse, reconnecting, and hopefully realizing that they aren't the only problem in your marriage. Most of the things we already try to do, but it's always nice to refresh your memory. It's hard to keep it up. We inherently seem to drift back into a mentality, but what if we just started with baby steps? Day one was to not say anything negative to your spouse for that day (I tend to be a little sarcastic if you haven't noticed, but it couldn't hurt, right!)....who knows the difference, the walls that could crack if for once, we stop nagging and focus on the good.

I really would recommend the movie and definitely the book. (for some reason I have this old Coca Cola song in my head about living in harmony!) Some of you might be hesitant because of the "Christian" content of the whole thing. But I honestly believe God IS the author of love, who better to go to for teaching and guidance then the creator of it all? The verse references, no matter what your beliefs are, might just be the kind of light bulb moment you need to make your married life a healthier place.

(ok..once again, I'm off my soap box! Next post it'll be back to life as usual!)

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