Almost FO's

So, yes I have been doing more then just contemplating the brevity of life these last few weeks! Finished a sweater, started a scarf and almost finished a baby sweater...not too shabby!


This is my Mosaic Yoke Sweater....saw comments on the sizing and they were totally right...working on making it fit!!!

My camera broke about a month ago...this is what the sweater looks like on Jim's cell! (wonderful huh?!?)

I decided to take the dozen little balls of yarn I had left from the sweater and make them into this scrap scarf....it's knit length wise so one row feels like FOREVER!!! There's really no rhyme or reason to the patters colors, just add another row and away you go!

I ripped out a baby blanket and decided to turn it into a baby sweater for Andrea. It called for a picot edge on the bottom, but I didn't like the way the sides of the cardigan kept rolling so I added it on all the open edges. Still needs buttons and tails sewn in, but close enough to call finished in my book!

Sometimes They're SO Sweet!

We had to drop something off for Jim this morning....Riley was so adamant about "seeing my dad". I didn't think he was going to let go of his neck! Sometimes they are so sweet that it makes it all worth it!

Un-Disappointed

As you can probably tell, this last series at church has really hit home with me. God has shone a lot of areas that needed some spring cleaning!

Last Sunday was the last weekend of the Bucket List series. It was all about living with no regrets. The points were to 1. Love with Authenticity 2. Live with Integrity 3. Share Christ with Urgency.

These points were well and good, but what really hit me was a statement Keith made about David. David is known as a man after God's own heart. Never does it say anything about him being an extremely righteous man or a perfect soul who did only things that made God happy. He royally messed up so many times (the Psalms are filled with his sagas and heart cries), but yet he still sought after God with all of his heart in midst of his struggles.

Why is it that we spend so much of our lives trying to achieve perfection? It's impossible to please everyone all of the time, but I still try and still end up feeling like a disappointment.

I know the Bible stories, and have always known that David had his share of problems, but for some reason it just hit me between the eyes! God didn't love David because of the things that he did, he loved him because David genuinely sought him. He didn't have to hide his feelings or make something of himself before he could come to God....he was just David, plain and simple.

God always seems to use the underdogs, the unworthies, the disappointments. His strength shines through our weaknesses.

So..I'm going to try harder at focusing on shining through my imperfections, instead of on how disappointing we can be.

On a sad note, please keep my cousin's family in your thoughts and prayers. Her oldest son was killed on Sunday in Afghanistan. He was in his early 20's, a newly wed with a young baby. It's such a tragedy. Just one more reason to live for today, because tomorrow is never a guarantee.

Surrender....

...is there more to that word then just being a good Cheap Trick song?

I find it so ironic that my freedom comes by surrendering my heart and my will to what God has in store. That seems to go against every fiber of society. It's almost like it's too easy.

Luke 9:23-25
(Jesus) "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me you will find true life."

I'm not saying that surrendering will be an automatic ticket to the "good life", but it will take you on a journey to realizing true happiness and most of all contentment. Why do we fight it? The lessons I've learned over the past year have been hard and the scars are deep, but I really feel like I've finally found it! I can rely on God for my well being....sure He might point out some hard things that I need to work on, but in the end it's all for my benefit AND I don't have to go it alone! He is with me every step of the way, shaping and molding this imperfect selfish person into a beautiful vessel.

There has been this song on the radio a lot lately called By Your Side (see play list). The lyrics hit me ever time I hear it. "Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face, just don't turn away.....To where will you go child, to where will you run? Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall, in the dead of night whenever you call. Please don't fight these hands that are holding you." It's become one of my banners lately.

What would it be like if you just let go, surrendered and jumped full on into the arms of God?

Pulling Off the Band Aide

It's amazing how somethings in life are like pulling off a band aide.

Friday night we had our small group for this new series at church (linked it incase anyone is interested in seeing this series!). A night of awesome women, living in the moment and encouraging each other. I came away from it so energized and just floated home on a God cloud. It was like God was holding me to his chest, caressing my head, telling me it's gonna be alright.....and then wham! Woke up Saturday to find that He was pulling off a band aid that I had carefully placed over my aching heart. YAOUCH!!!! (God's got a good sense of humor because I've done the same thing to the boys when removing those pesky sticky things!)

I wrestled all day with major, deep issues. Some have plagued me since childhood, others more recent..but not any less painful. I didn't know what to do. Do I suck it up and deal with these hard issues or wait until the bleeding stops and a loose scab appears? I kept asking Jim what I should do, but he only replied that I had to be the one to make that decision! Called my good friend Kim, who happened to be discussing the same type of thing with her hubby at the kitchen table (GOD IS GOOD!). Still wasn't sold on what I should do, but was comforted in the fact that I'm not alone!

Fast forward to a sleepless night and a moody morning. Got into church, had a great Caramel Mac. (thanks Devon!), and stepped into worship. Songs filled the air about overcoming and God being in control of every victory. Sat down for service feeling ok.....what was the sermon on you might be thinking............"Living for what really matters".....relationships! Ahahahaha I'm laughing it up Father!

Point 3 happened to be "What relationship needs to be restored?". According to yesterday, I've got a couple big ones that I really need to work on...but still I really don't want to go there....can't I just pretend that I didn't feel that tinge in my heart or that ache in the pit of my stomach ( Devon, What did you put in my coffee!?!).

Three things we should remember about forgiveness:

1. Forgive selfishly. Forgiveness is more for our benefit then others. Someone once told me that bitterness is like swallowing poison, expecting the other person to die.

2. Forgive freely. Don't hold back....forgiving doesn't wipe the wrong away, it just puts it into God's hands to deal with it!

3. Forgive repeatedly. We're all human and we all fall so short.

One last thing before I go get off my unforgiving butt and make some changes. This verse really hit me....I want it for myself and I'm praying it for all of you!

Matt. 11:28-30 (Message) "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me---watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."


LOVE WELL, FORGIVE OFTEN!!!